Your emotional wellbeing in pregnancy and beyond guide

Pregnancy and Childbirth

Pregnancy and child birth are major life changing experiences and can bring about many emotional
changes to you and those close to you.

Parenthood is often portrayed as instinctive, with perfect parents living perfect lives, with perfect children and no money or relationship problems. In reality, children do not come with instructions and for a lot of people, parenthood isn’t easy.

Not everyone falls in love with their child as soon as they see them. As with relationships, very few
people fall in love at first sight, most people find love develops as you get to know someone, so why should parenthood be any different?

Most women go through pregnancy and the first year after giving birth without any psychological problems. However, some do go on to experience difficulties such as anxiety or depression. These conditions are extremely common for everybody but they can develop differently during your pregnancy and beyond, as you juggle the emotional, social, financial and physical demands of a
baby and family life.

You may feel down or more anxious than usual but don’t suffer alone - your midwife, health visitor or GP will be able to support and advise you.

This guide gives you information and helpful tips about your emotional wellbeing during this phase of your life. You may want to print out and show this guide to those close to you to help them understand how you are feeling.

What kind of help is available?

Once you have discussed your feelings with someone, you can then both explore what help is available and decide what would work best for you. Sometimes it can be simple things that can make the difference, for example:

• Talking to your partner, family member or a friend about how you feel
• Taking some exercise like walking or an aquanatal class
• Attending a social group such as baby massage or a relaxation class
• Help lines and internet sites such as Netmums (see useful contacts)
• Talking things through with your midwife, GP or health visitor.

Ask your health professional about what information or support is available in your local area. Your local Children’s Centre will have many activities on offer. Your local library is a good source of information, too.

You or your health professional may feel you need more help than that, if so, there are other types of help available:

• Counselling
• Medication
• Care from a mental health professional.

“I felt confused, criticised by others and I was really worried
about the future”

How will I know what to look out for?

Some signs are:

• Feeling worried

• Feeling sad

• Loss of appetite

• Tearfulness

• Severe fatigue

• Sleep disturbance/tired all the time

• Headaches

• Feeling a failure

• Feeling guilty

• Poor concentration

• Angry outbursts

• Feeling that you're going mad

• Anxiety/panic attacks

• Feeling isolated.

Some of these feelings are quite normal in pregnancy and after you've had the baby. However, if these feelings continue or get worse please speak to your midwife, health visitor or GP.

How can I help myself?

Although there is help available there are ways that you can help yourself, too:

• Talk about your feelings with your partner, family or friend. You need someone who will listen and offer support
• Don’t try to do everything - the house doesn’t have to be spotless
• Take up any offers of practical help eg collecting the children from school, ironing. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help or feel guilty accepting it. Most people are happy to help
• Make time for yourself, a bubble bath, reading a magazine, listening to music can all help you to  relax
• Gentle exercise such as walking or swimming, pushing the pram can be especially helpful for anxiety and depression. It can help you sleep better, too
• Make sure you are eating a healthy diet - try to eat little and often
• Get as much rest as you can, tiredness can make you feel worse
• Try not to be alone all day, every day. Keep in touch with friends
• Ask your midwife or health visitor about any local groups.

Remember you will feel better in time.

‘’Talking things through helped me to gain control of
my life again”

Will my health professionals realise I'm not feeling well?

During your pregnancy and when you've had your baby, you will be routinely asked the following questions about your emotional wellbeing by your health professional, for example, midwife, health visitor or GP.

Don't worry, everyone is asked these questions.

• During the last month, have you been bothered by feeling down, depressed or hopeless?

• During the last month, have you been bothered by having little interest or pleasure in doing things? If you have answered yes to either question then you may also be asked:

• Is this something you feel you need or want help with?

Your health professional may then ask you some further questions. This is to ensure you get the right kind of support.

Here are some questions you may want to ask your health care professional or you may come up with
some of your own:

• Do other people feel like this?
• Will my baby be ok?
• What can help?
• Who can I talk to?
• Will I need medication?
• What support is available for me and my family?

“I used to be so confident and have a responsible job, now I
don’t even want to go out, I look and feel such a mess”

Advice for partners and those close to you

• Try to help her express her feelings. Asking her how she feels is always useful
• Try to be patient, however hard it is for you to understand
• Encourage her to rest, eat healthily and take some time for herself each day where possible
• Your help can relieve some of her stress by sharing tasks between you
• Remember, she is still your partner and not just a parent
• Try to do some housework, even if you have been working. She may be finding it hard to do this and look after the new baby
• Try to spend some time together as a couple
•  Try to show affection and support. Don’t feel rejected if your partner does not want to have sex at the moment
• Help with the baby as much as possible. It gives her some rest and gives you some special bonding time with your baby
• Don’t ignore your own feelings. It's alright to ask for help, too.

If you already have a mental health problem such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia or depression, diagnosed and treated by a doctor, you need to contact your midwife, health visitor or GP as early as possible in your pregnancy.

This is so the best care for you and your baby can be discussed and planned, for example changing medication or offering further treatment.

Mental health problems can affect anyone at any time. If you are feeling down or finding things difficult please talk to your midwife, health visitor or GP for advice, help and support.

Useful contacts and websites

Ask your midwife, health visitor or GP for further information on local groups and sources of help
and support.

If you need further advice, information or help please contact:

Association for Postnatal Illness

UK Charity providing a telephone helpline, information and publications.

Tel: 0207 3860868

NHS Direct

24 hour advice line.

Tel: 111

CRY-SIS

Provides self help and support for families with excessively crying and sleepless babies. Open from 9am -10pm.

Tel: 08451 228 669

National Childbirth Trust

Advice, support and counselling on all aspects of childbirth and early parenthood.

Tel: 0300 330 0700

Net Mums

Online community which was originally set up and run by three local mums to give parents a voice, locally and nationally, on issues of importance to them.

Samaritans

Provides confidential emotional support to any person who is suicidal or despairing.

Tel: 08457 909090 (UK).

Our patients matter

Mersey Care NHS Foundation Trust listens and responds to patients and their carers to help improve the services we deliver.

If you have any comments, compliments or concerns you can speak with a member of staff or contact our Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) and Complaints Team

Telephone: 0151 471 2377 
Freephone: 0800 328 2941 
Email: palsandcomplaints@merseycare.nhs.uk